Today, I was challenged to a duel of sorts by one of the blog's readers. This individual vehemently objected to my defense of Ragu in any situation. He made the claim that "Ragu <<<<<<< Corona [fake beer]." While I have it on good authority that this individual likes Corona, I also know that this was more a shot at Ragu than an endorsement of Corona.
Anyway, since this comparison is obviously a case of (read the following with a German accent, and it will be much better), "apples to oranges, not apples to apples." Thus, to really determine the relative ranking of such vastly different commodities, we needed a common scale. I believe that what I came up with allows for comparison of any two goods (although the end result can be inconclusive because it revolves around a relative ranking with one invariant item).
Upon seeing his inequality, I immediately claimed that, "Corona = Butt Hole," and that, "Ragu >/= Butt Hole." I then concluded that it meant that Ragu was weakly better than Corona, and thus Corona cannot be strictly better than Ragu. The theory that was born this afternoon is called "Butt Hole Transitivity." How it works is quite simple, and I will break it down into four steps:
1. Compare one of the items to butt hole.
2. Compare the second item to butt hole.
3. Apply transitivity to remove butt hole from the inequalities.
4. Analyze the result.
Who would have thought such a useful , innovative thing would be the offspring of Ragu and Corona parents? Certainly not I.
-FSG
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