Damn Dam

There is a little contraption in my apartment shower that has irked me to no end ever since my first moment of inhabitation.  Usually, when someone complains about something in their shower, it's the shower head for lacking the setting for appropriate water pressure...It's rarely ever right.  Well, my gripe is completely different.  It revolves around the stopper.  The way my particular contraption is supposed to work is with a spring.  If you push it down when it's in the up position, it will stay down to prevent water from flowing down the drain.  If you press it when it is already down, it should pop up.  For comparison, it's like most doors that you'd find on a television cabinet.

Luckily, it does work as it's designed (exactly as noted above).  However, it does not serve the purpose it was designed to serve.  Anyone who has ever taken Calculus I has surely seen a related rate problem.  The crack team of engineers who designed this "dam" piece of garbage have not.  The rubber seal of the stopper sits too low, so water cannot drain at a rate at least equal to the rate of water shooting out of the shower head.  In layman's terms, I wind up with water up to my ankles at shower's end.  This simple fact exacerbates the already dire situation.  Now, as the shower drains (you're more apt to hear Christina Aguilera sing the National Anthem properly before all the water is gone), all the shampoo and soap residue that's been rinsed off cakes to the rubber of the stopper thus constricting the waterway that much more.

You're probably thinking that there's a clog of some sort, but I reject that claim because I have tried Drain-O (well, store brand because I'm cheap), and no matter how much I use, and no matter how many times I use it, the problem persists.  Anyway, this whole situation has me more frustrated than Mighty Mullet trying to utter a true statement, so finally, I said, "Enough is enough!"

I went to the leasing office and asked them to remove the stopper.  They put in a request to maintenance and told me that the man would come to take care of the problem on Monday.  Well, today's Monday, so I gleefully sauntered into my apartment after work with renewed vigor hoping to behold a glorious un-stoppered sight.  Much to my chagrin, there was a stopper there!  But this was no ordinary stopper...this one was shiny.  I traipsed back to my door, head hanging in despair, and I saw a note from maintenance saying, "We removed your old stopper and replaced it with a new one."  I must ask, who's running the show here?  I explained the problem in stunning detail and delineated the perfect solution for them.  This should have been a slam dunk.  They didn't even have to think...I'd already done that for them!

I collected myself and walked to the office again to tell them my harrowing tale of unattainable triumph.  They advised me that they thought that when I said, "The shower stopper is ruining my bathing experience...Please remove it completely," what I really meant was, "Please make my problems shinier."  Un-frickin'-believable.  They told me they'd try to have it taken care of tomorrow, but I have my doubts.  I can't say I'd be surprised if they installed a new tub and then reinstalled the same God-forsaken stopper.


-FSG