Thursday, September 22, 2011


Driving home after work today, I saw something that one doesn't get to see every day.  It's the one thing that causes me to lose my ability to control the urge to yell out, "BUSTED!"  I'm of course talking about seeing someone getting arrested.

Today, I saw some police lights flashing behind a car.  I originally thought it was just a ticket being issued.  Then, I saw the driver being put into the back of the cop car with handcuffs on!  Now, I'm left wondering the natural thoughts:  What did he do?  I've narrowed it down to three things, but I'm not sure that any are correct.

1.  He is an organ thief.  I'm not talking about those thieves you hear stories about who leave people in ice baths with stitches.  I'm talking about people who abscond with church organs.

2.  He peed in a Dunkin' Donuts coffee pot.  That one's pretty self explanatory...and I'd imagine doing anything illegal at a Dunkin' Donuts would be begging for an easy arrest to be made.

3.  He molested Bigfoot.  I think this is the least likely because it is common knowledge that Bigfoot is celibate and strong enough to fight off anyone threatening to change that.  If you disagree with the last claim made there, I suggest watching some Jack Links commercials.

That's all I have, but I'd love to hear other theories if you've got any.



  1. I think he tried to solicit sex from a cop with a fetish.

  2. I forgot the fourth (and perhaps most obvious) option: He may have punted a midget.

  3. Living in the Pacific Northwest, I can tell you with a great degree of accuracy that Big Foot is NOT celibate.

    Just sayin'.

  4. Am I to interpret your comment to mean that you've been getting squelchy with Big Foot?