I recently had a run in with a lawyer who I have since relieved of his duties due to shoddy work (egregious typos on contract addenda...including but hardly limited to the use of the word "ether" in lieu of "either") and some misrepresentation, but it got me thinking that it's high time to post some lawyer jokes!!! For your pleasure:
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a snail?
A: One's a scum sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a mollusk.
Q: How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: Vultures aren't gagging over the skunk.
Q: How do you tell if it's REALLY cold outside?
A: The lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
Q: Why have some beachfront cities banned lawyers?
A: Because cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
And my favourite:
Q: What's the problem with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes!
-FSG
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