Tuesday, April 5, 2011

When the Boogie Man Goes to Sleep at Night...

...he checks his close for Chuck Norris.  In honor of the amazing shirt I purchased last weekend, I'd like to share with you some of my favourite Chuck Norris Jokes Facts.

1.  Chuck Norris doesn't get excited to receive gifts from Santa.  Santa gets excited to give gifts to Chuck Norris.

2.  Chuck Norris can tell you how to get to Sesame Street.

3.  Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris upper cutted a horse.

4.  Chuck Norris counted to infinity.  Twice.

5.  "Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris's fists.

6.  Yoda used to be 6 feet tall till he tried that "Force" crap on Chuck Norris.

7.  Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC because "Law" and "Order" are the trademarked names of his right and left legs.

8.  I once had an idea, and a lightbulb appeared over my head.  Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.

9.  Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn.  He stares at it and dares it to grow.

10.  There is no theory of Evolution...Just a list of creatures that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

11.  Chuck Norris tried to join the military, but it was in violation of the Geneva Convention.

12.  Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

13.  The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's.

14.  Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

15.  Remember the Soviet Union?  It quit after watching a Walker, Texas Ranger marathon.

What are some of your favourites?


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