Sunday, October 24, 2010


On my drive to upstate NY this weekend, I must have been on the road with hundreds of quasi-Mennonites. I say this because while they clearly embrace turn of the century technical advances (evidenced by the fact that they were driving), they refused to accept, utilize, or even merely acknowledge cruise control.  The number of times I would pass someone only to have them fly by me a few miles down the road before I overtook them again is astounding.  Seriously, their speedometer readings were more inconsistent than Mel Gibson's temperament!

Normally, I would say that is a sufficient rant for what happened.  In this case, however, if I were to do that, I would not be doing justice to the transgressions of one driver in particular.  She was driving a white Cadillac SRX, and while I don't know her name for sure, I'd bet my bottom dollar it was "Crapsack McNumbnuts," so that's what I'll call her from now on.  Anyway, when I first encountered Crapsack, she was attempting to pass a truck in a 65 zone.  I can't explain this phenomenon, but I noticed that whenever she was passing trucks, she would drop her speed to the a 65 zone.  Anyway, after she finished passing the truck, she stayed in the left lane going 60.  I went into the right to pass her.  After I pass her, she flies by me (had to be going 80) before dropping down to 60 again to pass another truck.  Same thing happened after she passed this truck.  The third time this was about to happen, I sped up to get in front of her so I wouldn't get stuck behind her again.  When I looked in my rear view mirror, Ms. McNumbnuts was flipping me off!  Let's just say that had the contest still been going on, I would have been eliminated right then and there...


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