Stall Selection Revisited

Today, one of our faithful readers presented me with a mind boggling bathroom layout.  I must admit, at first, I had no idea how to approach the situation.  However, after giving it some thought, I have solved the riddle.  I present to you the miffing blueprints:

In this situation, the "true" middle stall is a place of danger, possibly even unfit for use.  Anyone tempting fate and racing the clock trying to get to a toilet in time will surely take the first stall they see (the "true" middle stall).  Thus, this stall will be ravaged on a far more regular basis than the rest.  Thus, it should NOT be used under any circumstances.  If all the other stalls are taken, your best bet is to find another restroom (or buy Depends like Elmo).

However, it is not the case that the previously discussed (ad nauseum, mind you) theory of stall selection deteriorates.  The handicrapper should be avoided for the same reasons as before.  The stall opposite that deluxe poopin office also ought to be avoided, as many would naturally assume it is the cleanest (recall the laziness instinct).

This leaves two stalls as legitimately defensible choices.  It should be noted that they are both technically middle stalls.  My advice here would be to take the one furthest from the handicrapper.  You're inevitably going to get some spillover germs from the "true" middle stall, so it comes down to which will be the cleaner of the end stalls.  It would be the non-handicrapper because it lacks the palatial qualities that draw visitors like moths to flame.

I cannot assign my usual degree of certainty to my choice since this situation is so unusual.  What do you think?

-MSG

(Sorry, Stevie)