Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Word Play

The other day, a friend sent me a list of words published by Washington Post's Mensa invitational.  The list is comprised of two sets of words.  The first was generated by adding, deleting, or changing one letter in an already existing word and supplying a new definition.  Some of my favourites in this category are:

  • Ignoranus - A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
  • Intaxication - Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
  • Bozone - The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
  • Sarchasm - The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 
  • Dopeler Effect - The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
     come at you rapidly. 

The second list is comprised of already existing words that have been provided with new definitions.  Some of the highlights here are:

  • Willy-nilly - adj. Impotent.
  • Flatulence - n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been  
     run over by a steamroller.
  • Balderdash - n. A rapidly receding hairline.
  • Pokemon - n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.
  • Oyster - n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

Inspired by the above, I decided to give it a try myself.  Here are some of my brainchildren:

Type 1
  • Gasshole - (n.) That jerk who farts in elevators.
  • Cusstard - (n.)  A crass idiot
  • Diplumacy - (n.) The act of flipping someone the bird
  • Infestine - (adj.) Of or relating to digestive parasites
  • Infinote - (n.) A very long letter
  • Cornycopia - (n.) An extremely sappy moment
  • Batlas - (n.) A cave map
  • Atmessphere - (n.) Air filled with dust or pollen
  • Unflortunate - (adj.) Of or relating to spilling something that will stain your carpet
  • Sintillating - (adj.) Of or relating to anything shiny or bright in Las Vegas
Type 2
  • Copious - (adj.) Of or relating to a long, dragging sermon
  • Pacifist - (n.) A call for a celebratory fist bump
  • Metrosexual - (n.) A public transit fetishist
  • Vigorous - (adj.) Of or relating to the bookie's cut of a bet
  • Trefoil - (n.) Tinsel decoration
  • Nunchuck - (v.) To throw a nun
  • Donkey - (v.) To wear a key on a necklace

I'm intrigued to see what you guys come up with.  Please put your best in the comments section!

-MSG

2 comments:

  1. Issac the IgnoranusDecember 2, 2010 at 10:39 AM

    Type 1:
    favorite - the CORRECT way to spell favourite.
    peabut - The result of holding in a pee because the only place to go is a really dirty restroom you don't want to use. "I have to peabut I won't use that nasty spot."
    Brochester - Like Rochester, but the gay Canadian version

    ReplyDelete
  2. Issac the IgnoranusDecember 2, 2010 at 10:42 AM

    Type 2:
    Speculation - thinking about glasses and how they are far superior to contact lenses in almost all situations.
    Missile - A new Miss Universe contestant from the the islands.
    Address - a dress sponsored by corporations.

    ReplyDelete